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Mathew Steel

The Knight Before Christmas

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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the keep,

There lay a great lord, so sound in his sleep.

The fire was lit, smoke filling the air,

In hope that St Nicholas would soon be there.


The knights and the townsfolk all snug in their beds,

While visions of venison danced in their heads.

Lord_Chris with the horses, and I with my cats,

Had just settled the falcons, to keep out the rats.


When out in the town there was such a clatter,

The Lord sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Adjacent to the inn was a burning bright stash,

Where peasants had set fire to their meaningless cash.


The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave the peasants a cold and moaning to show.

When, what their wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.


With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

They knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

With reindeer and presents that brought him his fame,

He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now, Nigel! now, Eagle! now, Charles! now, Mathew!

On, Crusader! On, Bradley! on, David to you!

To the ends of the earth! to ten-sixty-six!

Gather your courage and prepare for the fix!"


As boredom and sorrow cover the city,

We could only feel shame and ongoing pity.

So up to the hovels the reindeer flew,

For the SHN Christmas was starting anew.


Bells could be heard, not just from the church,

But from the reindeer who landed just near the birch.

The grey and black bark blended with ice,

Foreshadowing the joy that would rid of the vice.


The stone castle walls shone in the weather,

Whilst children stayed sleeping, as light as a feather.

Yet little did they know Lord_Chris had a trick,

To spread Christmas spirit with the help of St Nick.


His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

As for St Nick, his belly was rounded,

For he'd eaten mince pies 'fore the reindeer were grounded.


The drunkards and deviants looked down at the floor,

Longing for a day where life will give more.

The townsfolk knew not what would happen this year,

But Lord_Chris' scheme was to share gifts and cheer.


The peasants looked up as they heard all the noise,

As St Nick walked over with a sack full of toys.

"Be grateful for life" he said with a smile,

As the townsfolk stared simply, in awe for a while.


St Nick gave to the rich, as well as the poor,

And no peasant or king could possibly want more.

For the goodness of Christmas provides hope not fright,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all goodnight!





I wanted to wish you all a very early Christmas and to remind you it doesn't have to be the 25th to get into the Christmas spirit.

Spend time with your loved ones, and be sure to work hard, for when the time comes...you can eat like a fat lard :P?


As some of you may have noticed, there was a subtle moral in my parody-poem, and it was to point out that not everybody is so fortunate during the entire year. If you have the chance to help even just one person, do it, and know that you may have made somebody's year. I personally started early by buying a hot chocolate and a warm bacon baguette for a homeless man just last week. It gets very cold this time of year (unless you're in the UK, where it's known as "any-day-that-isn't-summer") and something small like that could mean a lot to someone. If you do something, whether it's similar to what I did, or whether you donated, or something similar, let us know here! It's not being vain, it's sharing positivity!?:)


Merry Christmas

- Tom

Edited by Mathew Steel

"Gofyn wyf am galon hapus, calon onest, calon l?n."

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Thank you very much, Crusader! I'm fully aware it's nothing special, I just thought I'd accept making a cringeworthy poem parody for the sake of some laughs. A very early merry Christmas to you! :)

"Gofyn wyf am galon hapus, calon onest, calon l?n."

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Far less cringeworthy than you think.

You sure have put a smile on my face today :)

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I'm glad to hear it, Nigel! Hope you're doing well!


I'm currently finishing off my last piece of work for a specific subject at school, leaving me with just 3 subjects to revise for. Wish me luck! :)

"Gofyn wyf am galon hapus, calon onest, calon l?n."

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This is a Christmas thread, but I thought I just wanted to add to it


A Happy New Year and all the best for 2018 to all of you :)

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